The Stigma of Being Fragile: Eating Disorder in Prose by Detelina Stamenova

The Stigma of Being Fragile

In a world of superheroes being vulnerable is a weakness. Not being able to cope with food is something unthinkable – that’s only food!

If it was so easy then it would not be that difficult for people with eating disorders.

If it were so easy, psychotherapists, counselors, psychiatrists and nutritionists would have quick answers for anyone.

If it was so easy to deal with eating disorders, it would have been popular subject and easy talk.

But, it is not.

Somewhere in the corner of mental illnesses, eating disorders are still underestimated, something hard to understand…

Stigma – everyone thinks you need to know what to do

Everyone but you seems to know what you have to do, but you have no strength. They say: “You don’t care, you don’t even try.” Gradually, you lose your confidence. Every failure is proof that everyone knows what to do, except you.

Stigma – you pretend it is not difficult

“It is easy,” is what you read in the eyes of others. Sometimes they lose patience and start to be dissatisfied. You do not quite understand why you can not be a superhero, like everybody. “You and your moods”; “You are playing drama queen”… It is terribly difficult to deal with the allegations of others every day. Sometimes they do not even say anything, but you think they are watching, discussing your behavior, appearance or body.

Stigma – you are different

It’s so thin/fat. No, it’s not just that. “She is so different.” You are desperately trying to be like others, but they do not know that when you get home, you do not binge on Netflix, but you’re binge eating food. You know you’re different and you’re trying to hide it.

In a world of superheroes it’s hard to be just a human

Suppression of feelings; neglect of the events in life that have upset you (most of ED sufferers have some type of PTSD, sexual violence, have been victims of school violence, or are part of the LGBTQ community); sadness… These are all the things we do not see in strong people. They stand at the bottom of the big topic. When all year tears run out is when you learn how to like these things: to be weak and sensitive; gentle and wounded; when you find the superpower to feel and not to be afraid of feeling with all your body. When you change yourself for the better; then you will be t different and the stigma of disease will remind you that you are the strongest weak human in the world. Ever.

About Detelina:  Detelina Stamenova is psychotherapist based in Bulgaria. She is a member of the World Eating Disorders Day Steering Committee for 2018 and is an Activist for eating disorders awareness with a deep interest in prevention and early treatment of eating disorders.  She is a member of the team working on Voinata s hranata (food wars) Eating Disorders Awareness site and writes in her personal blog a lot on these topics.  Contact her at:  detelina.stamenova@gmail.com