You Can’t See an Eating Disorder: Breaking the Bias Around Weight and Wellness
Today is World Eating Disorders Action Day, a global call to change the conversation around eating disorders. And over the years I’ve been working in the field of eating disorder recovery there’s some harmful myths I see time and time again.
If someone looks like they’re a “healthy weight,” they must be okay.
This belief is not only untrue. It’s also dangerous. As a mental health dietitian and clinical
hypnotherapist, and someone who has
personally walked the long, twisty road of eating disorder recovery, I know this bias runs deep. Our culture is quick to equate health with appearance and eating disorder severity with thinness. But eating disorders don’t have a look. Eating disorders are mental illnesses. They are psychological pain, fear, disconnection, compulsive behaviours, and rules that shrink our lives. None of which show up neatly on a scale or in a BMI chart.
In fact, many of the people I support are in
bodies that the world would label “healthy” or “normal” and yet they’re fighting silent battles every single day.
They’re struggling to eat without guilt, exercising not for joy, but out of fear or compulsion, feeling terrified of weight gain, planning their whole lives around food rules and they’re smiling and often “achieving” greatly on the outside, while their inner world is spinning with anxiety, shame, guilt and self-criticism.
This is the real face of eating disorders. And frustratingly and heartbreakingly it’s often overlooked, invalidated, or even praised. “You’re so disciplined!”
“I wish I had your willpower!” “But you don’t look sick…”
Are all very common sentiments my clients hear. Often very well intentioned but not only are these words incredibly inaccurate they’re also
damaging.
Let’s be clear: eating disorders are mental illnesses.
They can exist in any body, at any size, weight,
gender, age, or cultural background. They thrive
in secrecy, perfectionism and misbeliefs. When we only see eating disorders through the lens of physical appearance, we miss people who desperately need support. We risk sending them the message that they need to “get sicker” to be taken seriously. That they haven’t earned or don’t deserve help unless they’re visibly unwell. If you’re reading this and you feel unseen because the eating disorder isn’t physically “obvious,” please know your struggle is valid. You deserve support. You don’t have to prove your pain or become worthy of help or care by shrinking your body.
Recovery is not reserved for people in certain- sized bodies.
And you don’t have to wait until it’s “bad enough” or until you hit “rock bottom” to ask for help.
On World Eating Disorders Action Day, let’s commit to breaking the bias.
Let’s shift the narrative from one that centres on size, to one that centres on truth,
compassion, and understanding.
Because recovery is possible, not when you look a certain way, but when you feel safe enough to
heal.
And you deserve that safety. You deserve that freedom.
You deserve to be you.
Yours in health and happiness,
Bonnie Killip at Fuelling Success.
Mental Health Dietitian | Clinical Hypnotherapist | Lived Experience Practitioner
PS if you’re curious to learn more about eating disorder recovery please feel welcome to read my new book “Ready, Now: Your Guide to Doing Recovery from Anorexia Different this Time” where I share insights into what eating disorder recovery looks like, what to focus on and what to expect. Including snippets from my own journey of recovery. It’s available on Amazon or anywhere you buy books online.
Bonnie Killip
Optimal Mind & Health Consultant At Fuelling
Success
NOTE: World Eating Disorders Action ™ is a global independent collective founded in 2014 by activists and people with lived experience across the globe to share correct information about eating disorders, promote evidence based treatment and offer a platform for like minded organizations to promote policy, research and program advances, ultimately to help those affected and their families. We bring together over 300 organizations from over 60 countries globally each year. Blog posts by individuals and agencies are the opinions and perspectives of those contributing and not necessarily the views of World Eating Disorders Action.